Whether you’ve recreated your own neighborhood brick-by-brick, or just managed to build yourself another stupid block hut, Minecraft has probably grabbed you by the balls at some point in your life. This game is the ‘smack’ to my ‘Whitney Houston’, the ‘Sanford’ to my ‘Son’, the ‘chocolate starfish’ to my ‘hot dog-flavored water’ (ya thats a Limp Bizkit reference). This game has single-handedly kidnapped my mind and jump-started my imagination into creating completely ridiculous things. I made an entire hotel with an in-ground swimming pool. Ridiculous.

minecraft enderman

That’s what nightmares are made from

Why its great:

  • you get to brutally murder innocent animals on tv instead of at your dad’s friend’s farm.
  • the bizzare creatures that exist in the game. Enderman = terrifiying.
  • the sound effects of this game. The first time I killed a Ghast, it sounded like I killed a baby giraffe with the wrong end of a baseball bat.
  • pee runs down your leg everytime you see one of those damn kamikazee creepers.
  • the completely ridiculous creations people all over the internet have created. These social recluses need a gold medal in nerdery.
  • I don’t care how many block penis statues you make, it never gets old.